The Wash II - Finalist of Arte Laguna Prize 2018
I wonder about being an individualist in today’s term. I ponder upon our "independence", if it has resulted in our hesitation to ask; to ask for help, for attention, for someone to come in the moment we need support, comfort, and above all, to be loved.
Has the pursuit of gaining our true identity made us afraid of being vulnerable in front of others? Made us afraid to have an expectation? Made us fearful?
By the same token, I ponder upon if being an individualist makes us hesitate to extend our compassion towards others who ask, especially the one who is the closest to us? Makes us not knowing what to do, when we encounter the moment of vulnerability? Makes us feel burdened by someone’s vulnerability? Prevents us from feeling empathetic?
He was my boyfriend I was madly in love with, but I had always been afraid to ask him to be there for me. His trauma of the past was at the back of my mind. Yet, I wanted to prove myself wrong, and in this time of sickness, I asked him to come and comfort me. He refused. My instinct was right all along.
After our break-up, I went to Majorca (Spain) to recover. I remember my mother and her affection towards me when I was sick as a child. The memory of her washing me with a piece of cloth and warm water came back to me. I felt peace.
Keyboard: Marlon H Silveira
Photography: Philipp Ziegler
Filming: Lee Lester & Cleopatra VII
Body Art: Marie Etienne
Companion: Dennis Lassche & Ruth Brennfleck
and many people who participated and gave their support, I am forever grateful.
(Finalist of Arte Laguna Prize, Performance at the Venice Arsenale, Italy, 2018)